Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, protected Minneapolis for many years

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death. (H/T Lisa Sayers)

Monday, December 1, 2014

Friday, October 17, 2014

Salvatore Buchetto,66, measured out at 73 1/2 inches, and a bouncing 232 pounds, 9 ounces

Devoted to a malfunctioning series of TR-6 autos, Sal single-handedly supported the used parts industry for that model over the years. An accomplished photographer, his "Photography by Salvatore" business captured the romance of hundreds of newly wedded couples. He supported Native American causes through his visits to state casinos, and was widely-read through his frequent contributions to the Stamford Advocate editorial page on a wide variety of serious and satirical topics. In tribute to Sal, it's rumored that big screen TVs across the state will be dimmed to half-brightness, and take-out cups of coffee will be served only half full. (It is expected that profits at County TV, Best Buy, Dunkin Donuts and Donut Delight will drop significantly.) Sal was a long time member of Grace Evangelical Church on Courtland Avenue, and loved Jesus. (H/T to Peter Elikann)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Howard Cocks Dickinson IV, 78, walked through heaven's gate "prick first"

Crow was a lover of hunting, fishing, food, the woods, women, politics, dogs, guns,porn, and last but not least, himself. He was The Master teacher of knife sharpening, iron pan cleaning, lawn mowing, gun cleaning, cooking roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and gravy, making "dredge," double-buttered toast, turning off lights, closing windows, sharpening chain saws ... and much much more!

Friday, September 26, 2014

Raymond Alan "Big Al" Bromley, 82, loved bacon, beer and butter pecan ice cream

Big Al was known for his timeless words of wisdom, including "Life is hard; but it's harder if you're stupid" and "Don't be a jackass." He had a life-long ménage a trois with his homemade chili and Gas-X. He had a great fondness for sardines on crackers, stuffed cabbage (which he lovingly called hunky hand grenades), making turtle soup, and eating BLTs. And his famous holiday eggnog had enough whiskey to grow hair on your chest.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

W.R. "Dick" Dell, 93, died

His sense of humor ­— and grammatical precision — was with him until the end, said his daughter, Paula “Polly” Dell. “He was telling the nurses and doctors, don’t tell me to ‘lay’ down. It’s ‘lie’ down.”

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Margaret (Marge) Aitken Holcombe, 84, leaves a witty selfie

I died at Hilton Head Hospital from a wide assortment of ailments on Tuesday, August 12, 2014. When a friend facetiously asked if I was writing my obituary before or after I passed away, I told her "Carol, I know my limitations."