Jesus Christ, son of God, king of the Jews

CHRIST Jesus Jesus Christ, Son of... God, died at mid-day on Friday after hours of long suffering. It was not a peaceful death. He was born to the late Mary and Joseph (with the help of the Holy Spirit). Jesus worked most of His life under His father Joseph... until He was around 30 years of age, when He began performing miracles, healing the sick, raising the dead, and claiming to be both the Son of God and King of the Jews. (H/T Terri Lukačko)

Emily DeBrayda Phillips pens the story of her life

It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that's simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn't get things my way! That's been the story of my life all my life. (H/T Lisa Sayers)

Henry Norman Saurage III, left behind a sense of humor

I was sad to leave behind my wonderful high school sweetheart and devoted wife of 57 years, Donna Maddox Saurage. However I died at peace after hearing her say, "When you're gone, I don't want another husband . . . I want a dog!"

Bernice Gordon, 101, The New York Times' oldest cruciverbalist

Mrs. Gordon began making puzzles in the early 1950s, but might have done so even sooner had it not been for the televised presence of M⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ B⬜⬜⬜⬜.

Daniel Manwaring Hunter, 70, "has left the building"

Since 2008, Dan had been in intensive nursing care on a ventilator. You'd think that would slow him down but no.

And now for something entirely new: The Afterneath — 10 songs from obituaries

“The Afterneath" is a name that came to me, with a strange sense of rightness, when my grandfather was dying. I hope these songs encourage you to take a long view of this strange pattern we call human life, to see how quickly we sweep from birth to death, and how much wonder and bullshit can fit in between. (H/T Terri Lucacko)

Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, protected Minneapolis for many years

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death. (H/T Lisa Sayers)