Casseroles made and missed: Why so many obituaries honor this treasured dish

With her Department 56 Christmas village and mistletoe doilies in place, Lynda Finch spent last Christmas Eve cooking a smorgasbord for her family to graze on the next day. That night, with green bean salad, mashed potatoes, stuffed mushrooms, bacon-wrapped hors d’oeuvres and chile relleno casserole prepped and tucked into the refrigerator, Finch went to bed and died in her sleep at age 73.

From 'The New York Times': 'Lights, Camera, Obits!'

Obituaries, by definition, stare fixedly in the rearview mirror. Worse, they begin, as they must, with the bleakest of all possible announcements: Someone has died. Not a juicy premise for a film, one would suppose. Add to that the nature of the enterprise: gathering facts, arranging them, pressing the keyboard with one’s fingertips, cutting a few words and adding a few others. Except for the phone calls, it’s an inward-looking process, at least for the reporters. How do you make drama out of that? [Vanessa] Gould had a few ideas up her sleeve.

TED Talk: What Really Matters at the End of Life

Lux Narayan starts his day with scrambled eggs and the question: "Who died today?" Why? By analyzing 2,000 New York Times obituaries over a 20-month period, Narayan gleaned, in just a few words, what achievement looks like over a lifetime. Here he shares what those immortalized in print can teach us about a life well lived. (H/T Ellen Schiller)

And now for something entirely new: The Afterneath — 10 songs from obituaries

“The Afterneath" is a name that came to me, with a strange sense of rightness, when my grandfather was dying. I hope these songs encourage you to take a long view of this strange pattern we call human life, to see how quickly we sweep from birth to death, and how much wonder and bullshit can fit in between. (H/T Terri Lucacko)

Thinking I should get into the obit-writing biz. Thoughts?

This, say those who have made it their business to know, is a great time for obituaries. ...“Every life is rich. Every life is rare. Even the simplest life has beauty and grace."

Such a good idea! A death doula

The woman sitting opposite me in an Edinburgh cafe is called Rebecca Green. She is in her early 40s, with a soft Birmingham accent and a gentle, smiling face. She is a nurse. But she also does something else – something that has prompted both fascination and animosity in those she has told about it. She is a death doula.

The NYT's Margalit Fox on writing obituaries

That, in essence, is the deep, sometimes bittersweet pleasure of the job – the chance to see, through the lens of personal history, how the world, for better or worse, got to be the way it is.

McCandlish Phillips, 85, extraordinary Times newspaperman

He stood out as a writer, for in his hands, even a routine news article, like this account of New York’s St. Patrick’s Day parade — an annual millstone for the city’s general-assignment reporters — seldom failed to delight: “The sun was high to their backs and the wind was fast in their faces and 100,000 sons and daughters of Ireland, and those who would hold with them, matched strides with their shadows for 52 blocks,” Mr. Phillips wrote in 1961. “It seemed they marched from Midtown to exhaustion.” ... Mr. Phillips joined The Times as a copy boy in November 1952, later working as a clerk on the city desk and in the Washington bureau. In 1955, he was made a cub reporter and consigned to the paper’s Brooklyn office, a dank, decrepit outfit in the borough’s nether regions. Mr. Phillips’s account of life there, written for Times Talk, the newspaper’s house organ (“It is impossible to tell a plainclothes detective from a mugger here. You just have to wait to see what they do”) was so magnificent that his sentence was commuted to service in the main newsroom.

A simple question

ROSS — Alan Gordon. You are still with us ……. everyday. What is shinola anyway? Love, Mom, Dad and Chris From the New York Times' In Memoriam, March 21, 2013. (H/T Thom Forbes)

What a Renaissance kind of guy!

"He enjoyed skiing in Vermont, sailing on Long Island Sound, and traveling in Europe and the Caribbean.

"As a young man, George was employed by Pfizer and also was the owner and manager of Scacciaferro's Excavating Business from 1952 until his successful retirement at the age of 46. He moved to East Lyme in the early 1960s and became a flourishing land developer. He worked throughout southeastern Connecticut with projects including Olde Mistick Village and Tweed Airport. Many streets and roads in East Lyme were named by George.

"George was affectionately known by his family and friends as the "World Conqueror." Upon his retirement, George developed his legacy, Pond Mere Farm in East Lyme where he built the home, barn, and gardens. He dug a four-acre pond, becoming a licensed fishery where he enjoyed fishing with his grandchildren. For a period of time, George and his first wife, Barbara, raised championship French Alpine dairy goats, traveled to goat shows throughout the country and placed in the Top Ten in the Grand National Championships. He was a member of National Dairy Goat Association.

"As a hobby in later years, George, "The Wood Man", designed and built a number of world class wood splitters for sale and personal use. George also enjoyed buying and refurbishing trucks and antique tractors. He was an avid storyteller and his tales will be sadly missed by all who knew him."

Yet another way to put it

"Westerly - Ian Geoffrey Robin MacLaury, an artist and illustrator of great whimsy, and prolific philatelist, had his final closing in the morning of Monday, July 6, 2009, at the Westerly Hospital, surrounded by family, dear friends, and life companion, Kathleen Harkins. His struggle with cancer was conducted with great courage and stoicism, greater, perhaps, than loved ones may have wished."

Fireworks on her birthday

"She was born on the Fourth of July 1929, in Norwich. Her birthday was always a great source of pride for her and since childhood considered the festivities her own personal birthday party. … Jeanne lovingly embraced her extended family and friends by acknowledging all special occasions with cards."

My all-time favorite obituary lede

"Groton - The naturally-selected DNA of Dr. Kevin Rice Jones, 85, Groton has run its course. "With nicknames from his Navy days 'Available Jones,' family 'Ol' Bear' and locally 'KJ,' 'KR,' Jones loved sailing, playing (and all things) tennis, the UConn women's basketball team, his tools and gadgets, skiing, playing bridge and poker, computing, his annual vacations to visit beloved friends in Westport, N.Y., reading, and living life in a way that defies description. "Among his many memorable experiences: jumping off a roof onto a trampoline, several ocean sailing trips, being on a Selma march with Dr. Martin Luther King, constructing a 90-pound ping-pong table, building a slot-car racetrack, coaching volleyball at the University of Kansas (and recruiting Wilt Chamberlain), creating a 'teaching machine,' being nationally ranked for his age-group in racquetball, and buying an ultralight plane at age 82. "A member of Mensa, Jones was a lifelong defender of going barefoot, a habit begun as a child in idyllic times on a Lake George, N.Y. island."

A thoroughly modern obit

"Her email signature sums up what was most important to her, simply and elegantly, 'Love & Family. Embrace them.' Indeed, her hugs will be sorely missed."

Big fan of the 'Duke'

"In his spare time, he loved to fish and bowl, and he enjoyed watching westerns, especially those featuring John Wayne."

Teach and Jean

"Teach was a ferocious reader of history and politics and loved to share his great knowledge with family and friends (living up to his nickname "Teach"). He also had a passion for the sea where he will be buried. His love of classical and big band music touched his soul deeply. Teach and his siblings sang for many years as a family tradition. His family and friends enjoyed many gatherings of laughter and debates throughout the years with Teach. He was never at a loss for words or a gut wrenching burst of laughter. He lived a wonderful life with the love of his life, Jean, for almost 60 years."

Still at it in her 80s

"Well into her late 80s she would still correct speakers in their grammar."

How poetic

"Roger lived a life that was filled with family and friends he truly loved, laughter that, at times, made him cry, and adventure that took his breath away. His life was filled to overflowing and no regrets were left behind."

Wow, you read about tsunamis ...

"Old Lyme - Thomas James Douglas Jr., 60, of Old Lyme, passed away on Oct. 4, 2009, at his home with his family by his side.

He is predeceased by his father, Thomas James Douglas Sr., and his mother-in-law, Fofoga Timoteo, who died on Oct 1, 2009, a victim of American Samoa Tsunami."

Farmington River ducks were fed

"Mario had a full career in the restaurant business, but carried his passion for good food and company with him everywhere and in all aspects of life. He could be found on any given afternoon of his retired life strolling through Farmington on his bike, playing golf with his grandsons, or enjoying a meal and story telling with his family. ... Memorial contributions can be made in lieu of flowers to Farmington River Watershed Association ... in light of Mario's love for the Farmington River, where he enjoyed to bring his daughters, grandchildren, a fishing pole and bread to feed the ducks."

(Thanks to Onella Gayraud, whose daughter wrote this obit for her grandfather.)