And now for something entirely new: The Afterneath — 10 songs from obituaries

“The Afterneath" is a name that came to me, with a strange sense of rightness, when my grandfather was dying. I hope these songs encourage you to take a long view of this strange pattern we call human life, to see how quickly we sweep from birth to death, and how much wonder and bullshit can fit in between. (H/T Terri Lucacko)

Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, protected Minneapolis for many years

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death. (H/T Lisa Sayers)

"Think of it as one less thing to think about."

Salvatore Buchetto,66, measured out at 73 1/2 inches, and a bouncing 232 pounds, 9 ounces

Devoted to a malfunctioning series of TR-6 autos, Sal single-handedly supported the used parts industry for that model over the years. An accomplished photographer, his "Photography by Salvatore" business captured the romance of hundreds of newly wedded couples. He supported Native American causes through his visits to state casinos, and was widely-read through his frequent contributions to the Stamford Advocate editorial page on a wide variety of serious and satirical topics. In tribute to Sal, it's rumored that big screen TVs across the state will be dimmed to half-brightness, and take-out cups of coffee will be served only half full. (It is expected that profits at County TV, Best Buy, Dunkin Donuts and Donut Delight will drop significantly.) Sal was a long time member of Grace Evangelical Church on Courtland Avenue, and loved Jesus. (H/T to Peter Elikann)

Howard Cocks Dickinson IV, 78, walked through heaven's gate "prick first"

Crow was a lover of hunting, fishing, food, the woods, women, politics, dogs, guns,porn, and last but not least, himself. He was The Master teacher of knife sharpening, iron pan cleaning, lawn mowing, gun cleaning, cooking roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and gravy, making "dredge," double-buttered toast, turning off lights, closing windows, sharpening chain saws ... and much much more!

Raymond Alan "Big Al" Bromley, 82, loved bacon, beer and butter pecan ice cream

Big Al was known for his timeless words of wisdom, including "Life is hard; but it's harder if you're stupid" and "Don't be a jackass." He had a life-long ménage a trois with his homemade chili and Gas-X. He had a great fondness for sardines on crackers, stuffed cabbage (which he lovingly called hunky hand grenades), making turtle soup, and eating BLTs. And his famous holiday eggnog had enough whiskey to grow hair on your chest.

W.R. "Dick" Dell, 93, died

His sense of humor ­— and grammatical precision — was with him until the end, said his daughter, Paula “Polly” Dell. “He was telling the nurses and doctors, don’t tell me to ‘lay’ down. It’s ‘lie’ down.”