Tim Schrandt, 55, fought a nun

To his siblings’ amazement, he was actually able to snag a good woman, Cheryl Murray, and hold on to her for the past 13 years, and as far as we know restraints were not used.

Sybil Marie Hicks, off to swim to the buoy and back

I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted … having been cremated. (H/T Peter Elikann)

Ossie Dahl, 64, retired for just a week

Ossie Dahl of Cortlandt Manor, NY would resent this obituary. Partially because he hates publicity, but mostly he'd be mad he left this world just one week into retirement.

Thomas Carroll, 77; answered the phone with ‘Salvation Army’

He couldn't start his day without reading the newspaper cover to cover, making sure he checked his lottery and power ball numbers, because that one time he almost hit it but was off by one number, and walking to the mailbox to check the mail. (H/T New Haven Register)

Jan Lynch, “an incredible woman”

She taught us that all the really good things in life are beyond the "Do Not Enter" signs. (H/T Peter Elikann

Rick Stein, 71, flew plane into the ocean ... or not

Rick Stein, 71, of Wilmington was reported missing and presumed dead on September 27, 2018 when investigators say the single-engine plane he was piloting, The Northrop, suddenly lost communication with air traffic control and disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Rehoboth Beach.(H/T Carol Snyder Foltz)

Jean Crompton, danced, traveled, and crocheted her way through life

After retirement, Jean became impossible to track down. She might be at a motorcycle rally or in Hong Kong. She crewed on a schooner, attended the Atlanta Olympics, and rode the river rapids, all in her 70s.